Next stop Naples

Arriving in Rome is hilarious. No immigration forms to fill in. Picked up our bags, got sniffed by one mangey dog and straight in to the country. Italians look so groovy. Pad reckons they're a cross between The French and the Spanish. Totally up themselves and weirdly exotic. Naples is nuts. We had just checked in and in five minutes outside our room in the square below we saw a fight, a demonstration and a funeral. Lunch was at a crazy restaurant recommended by the blokes from Il Perugino,our favourite local Italian. The walking instructions on google maps started with 10 pages of directions beginning with 'walk in a north easterly direction for 35m .......' No clue! Got in a cab, gave the driver the address and he drove us for 200m. Right there. The city is exciting, beautiful and ugly, lots of fun, with a wonderfully seedy feel. Just like Mickey Rourke before he went Mankey. Pad tried to park the car in the garage suggested by the hotel, arrived back 20 mins later, with car, I think he'd sweated his body weight. Got totally lost, gave up and parked the car out the front of the hotel in the middle of the piazza. It's still here this morning. Fingers crossed. Ostuni here we come. Ciao

Off to Italy

A couple of weeks away, three of us, Mark, me and Pad,nearly organised, sort of. Managed to book the dog into the wrong minder. I had two Sally dog lookerafterers in my email. Spoke to the wrong one for two weeks, turned up to the other very confused Sally. I realsed what I'd done at about 4pm and was meant to drop him off at 5pm for a 19 day visit. Thought I was going to vomit. Did a lot of begging, very doggy of me and Jerry is fine with the right Sally. Mark and Pad appeared dressed for the flight in exactly the same outfit. Down to the shoes. It looked I was a carer for father and son special people I managed to bring only one earring, will look like a pirate for the trip. Sent a last minute email to the b&b in Naples got a funny reply thanking me for my 'collaboration', very Italian I thought. Flight just about to take off before a major storm hits Sydney. I promise you they are telling you to tie up your dog. The last time we flew and landed in a storm the pilot missed the runway. In transit now, Rome tomorrow am. Ciao

Bette's struck again

Mum just announced to me that My Uncle Leo, never heard of him, was in military intelligence during the war.
Don't know whether I'm more gobsmacked that yet again I have another relative I've never heard of, or that one of mum's relatives was in intelligence.
Mum said "It's alright he's on Laurel's side" her mother, she ran the black market for butter in Bondi Junction during the 30's.
Then there's uncle Jim "a bugger of a man - but very intelligent, a train driver, Leo's father".
Mum's last comment was "Isn't it lovely reminiscing?" My response "It might be, but I've never heard of them before".
This was preceded by Mark showing mum a photo of a yummy meal he'd had at Royal Manly - otherwise known as "Fishos" mum's response "Was that before you'd eaten it?"

Met new friends

Night was looking a bit dull.
Mark suggested I take a bottle of wine out to the lovely people in the park playing really loud, fabulous music.
OK
Had the best night.
Some meany beneanies had called the police.
Too loud.
It was Simon and Garfunkel for heavens sake.
Mean time I'd said 'g'day and popped back inside
I was so annoyed to see that the nimbys were in action I cranked up the oven and delivered home made pizza and a delicious hazelnut ice-cream with home made fudge.
Bit of a hit.
Two Canadian blokes, one beautiful Irish Colleen, a gorgeous kiwi, 5 delicious Australians and me.

More Magic Moments

In the lounge at the airport on the way to NZ mum sees the eggs and bacon and rushes to pile up her plate then sees the fruit and panics.

As we were landing mum looked out and said, I can see a long white coast line.  Not really it was the wing.
On board she announced "I'm on a new drug, Diaphragm" probably Diazepam.
She burped so loudly in the customs queue that the man behind her changed lanes.

Burps, farts, groans and yawns all day. I swear that there is someone else in there with her.
We spent a lot of time lost as she constantly talked over the navman.
Repeats every word we say, as if we are in a weird delay echo chamber.
Reads every sign out loud, slowly and deliberately.
Has a go pronouncing every Maori name, whispering and repeating it to herself.

When we arrive at the hotel the concierge says "The extra bed is for the little person" My mother the midget.

There will be more

Magic moments with Bette

It was mum's 80th and we took her back to the land of The Long White Sock.
New Zealand.
She and dad spent the 6o's there. So we thought it would be a lovely trip down memory lane.
First experience in the lounge having a glass of bubbly.
It was 6am so mum announced, she was just having a drink for "municipal purposes".
The crew on board threw her a birthday party. Pretty bloody flash.
Arrive in NZ she remembers nothing.  Street she lived in, nothing, harbour bridge..nup, neighbouring towns...nup.
Watching the news she said "Don't they have a funny accent?......."
Trip down memory lane was very short.
We reckon she and dad did nothing, for 8 years, apart from drink gin with the neighbours.
Fabulous comments......
We went to Devonport. The navy is there.
"Don't these naval ports have great views?.......
Mum suffers with catarrh "If you only new what was going on in my nose......"
When we got lost I suggested we just follow our nose mum said, "Not me, my nose is too cold"
One morning mum had a very strong laxative, bad idea.
We left the hotel and moments later there is a weird groaning from the back of the car and every once in a while she whistled. Mum's not musical.
So Mark suggests we stop at the nearest Maccas, clean loos, no waiting. After 20 minutes Mum staggers back out, leans on the car window and just says "I'm exhausted" It's 11am.
Figured out the whistling, every time she farted she whistled.
Will update more tomorrow.

Claire is 96 and nifty

Everyone looks out for Claire. She's 96 and lives on the beach front, nearly blind and walks up and down the promenade every day.

The whole community keeps an eye out and helps her cross roads, carry her bags and just generally enjoys her loveliness.

She's as smart as paint.

We met her while walking our dogs and the joke was we were just looking after them for her. Unfortunately Barney, eldest dog, always peed on her shoes, she did smell like little old lady juice. We just thought she got home with very squelchy feet.

Anyway today Claire was coming home I spotted her and dragged her in to our local bar because the heavens opened up and there was no way could she get home in the rain.  She had a six pack in her walker, no raincoat.  She doesn't drink on a Monday. 

I noticed a young bloke was wearing his surfboard as a rain hat. I asked if he would let Claire walk in front of him under cover to her apartment.
He did.
It was an hysterical sight.
20 year old  gorgeous bloke, surf board on his head, really, really old lady on a walker in front under his protective cover. The rain was torrential. It took him 15 minutes,  he well deserved a round. Don't you just love the kindness of strangers.

His name is Billy and his mother would be very proud of him. I am.