Ged it .......3 Chervil advice from the kids

Not too much champagne left on the flight. I was very helpful there.
In Singapore and about to have a shower and spruce up for India and the last leg of my flight to Cochin.
I'm Santa excited, remember when you used to believe in Santa and it was Christmas Eve and you knew you were going to get stacks of loot next morning, well that's how excited I am.
Namaste.
Got great advice from the kids today, One son, ....Mum if you think you are going to hesitate about doing something, just have a go. Love that one.
Second bit...... when I leave anywhere turn around and have a look back just to check I have all the bits I need. Those kids have great ideas.
Famous Aussie cricketer in lounge, don't know his name, but know he's famous.

Ged it Inderya ......2 ...In lounge....

Through customs and immigration, having a medicinal Bloody Mary, have decided to ignore the fact that it's 10.00am
Had a farewell lunch with mum yesterday and combined Marie's 82nd birthday.
Here are some of her gems......
Mum started by saying 'I was thinking of Laurel yesterday (my dead grandma) you know my ex mother!'
She then made me promise not to go jogging alone in India. I've never been jogging in my life, why I would start now is a mystery.
I was telling her that I had been to the docter and now had ointment and antibiotics for my rash on my arm and she said "That rash is the best thing that's happened to you".
Don't think I will find anyone quite like mum in India.
Ready, steady off I go...........Just heard a champagne cork pop, saw bubbles appear in fridge, checked it out - only domestic will wait for real stuff on board.

Ged it Inderya ...1

Fell over last week ( Life Tip ...at this stage of life you never say 'had a fall' that's what old people say, young people 'fall over') and have a scab on my knee the size of Tasmania, very attractive.  Rash is a bit more random, it's on my arm and just fell out of the sky on to me. Fingers crossed I arrive pure.
Two days to go and about to start the anti malaria tablets.

Gee I hope my scab falls off and my rash goes before I get to India.
Never thought I'd say that.  Mind you, I'll fit right in and might even make some extra rupees on the side.

At a funeral with mum

At a recent family funeral mum looked around at everyone and then asked me "Sweetheart, is there any one here you recognise, that you don't know by sight?"

NZ we're back

Arrived in Auckland, had a few Betty moments.......
We drove the car out of the car park and someone walked behind us. Mum said, "If you back over a pedestrian you wouldn't have a leg to stand on"....
We then went to a supermarket in town and a lot of the people were, well, odd.
Got back in the car and said to mum, "Weren't they a strange lot". 
Mum said "Were they in a group, or were they spasmodic?"
We had many lunches in a wonderful restaurant Soul. One day mum ordered a Turkish pie. We asked if she like it and she was a bit reticent. She said "I loved the pie but I couldn't taste the turkey".
We then talked about the food in Italy and said that the pasta was quite strong and a not at all soft. Mum said "Oh isn't that crazy, we always have to cook ours al dente"....
We then had coffee at the naval base over in Davenport mum shared with us "Isn't amazing how Navel Bases have such lovely waterviews!"

Dead and not quite buried

Walking, walking, walking, it's a long walk to Museo di Capodimonte. Walked passed a funeral parlor where they were sweeping what looked like the leftover ashes into the street. Two spits up was a shrine to the same guy. Maybe he should have ordered the complete meal?

No wonder they're called ruins

Visited Pompeii, Hot, dusty, hot, dusty, found an AutoGrill (pretty funny) in the middle of something really old and consumed by ash and had a toasted sandwich and a beer. Mark reckons we could just get a fold out thingy of the town, before, after, maybe a little bit thingy in between. Yet again had a problem finding Mount Vesuvius. Back to Naples and lunch.

Driving!

....it's totally bonkers. We drove back from Amalfi. Mark had to reverse in to a wall around a corner to let a very big and wide bus get through. Not especially relaxing. Mind you Pad and I were very helpful. The streets in Naples don't feel any wider than aisle 9 in Coles. Our Lady of the Dash Board, gives us great advice, 'Do a U-Turn in 50 meters'. She's never been to Naples. Anyway, the drivers, Mark and Pad, are doing pretty well. So far no dings and no casualties. Touch wood. How any visitor can drive around here without a GPS is beyond me. Mind you I've really missed having a mallot. Just a quick thwack, how good would that feel? I mean, to hit Mark. Our car is now parked in a garage. We're leaving tomorrow, on to Rome!

Just blendin in

Had lunch, quelle surprise, went to the loo, came out and sauntered back to the table. A lovely English couple came up to me and ordered a drink. I said they could have what ever they wanted. Kept on sauntering and sat down.

Snug as a bug

We returned to our haven. Pad went out, a little while later he yells up at me from the square. 'Mum, the lock's stuffed' He was locked out and we were locked in. Not ideal. I rang the hotelier, who had to break in from the basement. He apologized for the 'terrible tragedy, and your son is locked out!' I said 'We didn't care, he'll be fine'. Didn't see the need to mention that he'd just nicked out for a beer. They couldn't fix it so, miracle of miracles they removed the lock and gummed it up with masking tape. Didn't we feel safe! Pad got back in and the family was reunited!

Ferry nice

Sorrento for lunch We took the ferry to Sorrento from Naples. Don't you find that people who are waiting at terminals all have the same look? The moosh that looks like they've just smelled their grandma's fart. There was one really annoying kid on the boat, Mark said 'lucky they've taken lots of photos, they will have something to remember when I push her off the boat'. Sorrento is absolutely beautiful. We took a cab from the pier to the town, should have cost about 3eu. There was a lift that only cost 1eu. Because we are genius' we took a cab. The driver suggested some dodgy restaurant probably owned by a toothless family member, we declined and the fare went up to 15eu for a three minute trip. Thank god we are not negotiating for the Greek economy. The restaurant Un Bufalito was extraordinary. Buffalo mozzarella is the specialty around there. Never fancied milking a buffalo myself, but you know those crazy Amalfians. When you put your fork into the mozzarella ball it just oozes milk, that sounds gross, but it was fabby. The owner was great character. Two fiancées, one Australian, one American. Married the American, studied in Parsons, Has a art gallery, a specialty food produce shop and a fine restaurant. Bit of a renaissance man. Back on the ferry, forgot to say that Pad had a couple of dips in the Bay of Naples. Home off to sleep after a couple of vinos and then tomorrow. Ciao

Ostuni, ( that bit wasn't in the brochure )

Well, after driving through Sorrento and Positano, just a tad wonderful, we arrived in Pascarosa, Ostuni. Temperature in the car 18deg, outside 38deg. You know when you have that sinking feeling? 10 days here, Oops, We drove down a dirt track, and Mark said, 'oh good, the stone walls just got narrower'. We had to pull in the rear vision mirrors. Arrived at the Trullo, no one was very excited, but we kept on saying how wonderful it was, and decided to check out the local hotspots. We dropped Pad at the pool next door, where he met the Albanian football player who was employed as the lifesaver! The pool was only chest deep. We drove on to Ostuni, couldn't find the ancient white city, mind you we went to Pisa once and couldn't find the leaning tower. At this stage we are being really polite, finally Mark said 'We're staying in Rumplestiltskin's house and the town next door is a shit hole'. It was like being in Nimmitabel but we couldn't speak the language. We changed our ten days to three and had a ball. Instead of it being a prison, it was a trampoline. We had dinner at the local b&b, which was delicious. Following day we drove to Lecce and had an amazing lunch, on the way back we went to the beach and paddled in the Adriatic. Last day lunch in Prolignone, on the sea, with freshly caught fish. Back home to the Trullo which was cool and sweet. One plus about that hideous heat, your washing dries really quickly. Straight back to Naples. Just arrived, not that flash on a Sunday arvo, but we are hopeful and the pizza is yummy. Ciao.

Next stop Naples

Arriving in Rome is hilarious. No immigration forms to fill in. Picked up our bags, got sniffed by one mangey dog and straight in to the country. Italians look so groovy. Pad reckons they're a cross between The French and the Spanish. Totally up themselves and weirdly exotic. Naples is nuts. We had just checked in and in five minutes outside our room in the square below we saw a fight, a demonstration and a funeral. Lunch was at a crazy restaurant recommended by the blokes from Il Perugino,our favourite local Italian. The walking instructions on google maps started with 10 pages of directions beginning with 'walk in a north easterly direction for 35m .......' No clue! Got in a cab, gave the driver the address and he drove us for 200m. Right there. The city is exciting, beautiful and ugly, lots of fun, with a wonderfully seedy feel. Just like Mickey Rourke before he went Mankey. Pad tried to park the car in the garage suggested by the hotel, arrived back 20 mins later, with car, I think he'd sweated his body weight. Got totally lost, gave up and parked the car out the front of the hotel in the middle of the piazza. It's still here this morning. Fingers crossed. Ostuni here we come. Ciao

Off to Italy

A couple of weeks away, three of us, Mark, me and Pad,nearly organised, sort of. Managed to book the dog into the wrong minder. I had two Sally dog lookerafterers in my email. Spoke to the wrong one for two weeks, turned up to the other very confused Sally. I realsed what I'd done at about 4pm and was meant to drop him off at 5pm for a 19 day visit. Thought I was going to vomit. Did a lot of begging, very doggy of me and Jerry is fine with the right Sally. Mark and Pad appeared dressed for the flight in exactly the same outfit. Down to the shoes. It looked I was a carer for father and son special people I managed to bring only one earring, will look like a pirate for the trip. Sent a last minute email to the b&b in Naples got a funny reply thanking me for my 'collaboration', very Italian I thought. Flight just about to take off before a major storm hits Sydney. I promise you they are telling you to tie up your dog. The last time we flew and landed in a storm the pilot missed the runway. In transit now, Rome tomorrow am. Ciao

Bette's struck again

Mum just announced to me that My Uncle Leo, never heard of him, was in military intelligence during the war.
Don't know whether I'm more gobsmacked that yet again I have another relative I've never heard of, or that one of mum's relatives was in intelligence.
Mum said "It's alright he's on Laurel's side" her mother, she ran the black market for butter in Bondi Junction during the 30's.
Then there's uncle Jim "a bugger of a man - but very intelligent, a train driver, Leo's father".
Mum's last comment was "Isn't it lovely reminiscing?" My response "It might be, but I've never heard of them before".
This was preceded by Mark showing mum a photo of a yummy meal he'd had at Royal Manly - otherwise known as "Fishos" mum's response "Was that before you'd eaten it?"

Met new friends

Night was looking a bit dull.
Mark suggested I take a bottle of wine out to the lovely people in the park playing really loud, fabulous music.
OK
Had the best night.
Some meany beneanies had called the police.
Too loud.
It was Simon and Garfunkel for heavens sake.
Mean time I'd said 'g'day and popped back inside
I was so annoyed to see that the nimbys were in action I cranked up the oven and delivered home made pizza and a delicious hazelnut ice-cream with home made fudge.
Bit of a hit.
Two Canadian blokes, one beautiful Irish Colleen, a gorgeous kiwi, 5 delicious Australians and me.

More Magic Moments

In the lounge at the airport on the way to NZ mum sees the eggs and bacon and rushes to pile up her plate then sees the fruit and panics.

As we were landing mum looked out and said, I can see a long white coast line.  Not really it was the wing.
On board she announced "I'm on a new drug, Diaphragm" probably Diazepam.
She burped so loudly in the customs queue that the man behind her changed lanes.

Burps, farts, groans and yawns all day. I swear that there is someone else in there with her.
We spent a lot of time lost as she constantly talked over the navman.
Repeats every word we say, as if we are in a weird delay echo chamber.
Reads every sign out loud, slowly and deliberately.
Has a go pronouncing every Maori name, whispering and repeating it to herself.

When we arrive at the hotel the concierge says "The extra bed is for the little person" My mother the midget.

There will be more

Magic moments with Bette

It was mum's 80th and we took her back to the land of The Long White Sock.
New Zealand.
She and dad spent the 6o's there. So we thought it would be a lovely trip down memory lane.
First experience in the lounge having a glass of bubbly.
It was 6am so mum announced, she was just having a drink for "municipal purposes".
The crew on board threw her a birthday party. Pretty bloody flash.
Arrive in NZ she remembers nothing.  Street she lived in, nothing, harbour bridge..nup, neighbouring towns...nup.
Watching the news she said "Don't they have a funny accent?......."
Trip down memory lane was very short.
We reckon she and dad did nothing, for 8 years, apart from drink gin with the neighbours.
Fabulous comments......
We went to Devonport. The navy is there.
"Don't these naval ports have great views?.......
Mum suffers with catarrh "If you only new what was going on in my nose......"
When we got lost I suggested we just follow our nose mum said, "Not me, my nose is too cold"
One morning mum had a very strong laxative, bad idea.
We left the hotel and moments later there is a weird groaning from the back of the car and every once in a while she whistled. Mum's not musical.
So Mark suggests we stop at the nearest Maccas, clean loos, no waiting. After 20 minutes Mum staggers back out, leans on the car window and just says "I'm exhausted" It's 11am.
Figured out the whistling, every time she farted she whistled.
Will update more tomorrow.

Claire is 96 and nifty

Everyone looks out for Claire. She's 96 and lives on the beach front, nearly blind and walks up and down the promenade every day.

The whole community keeps an eye out and helps her cross roads, carry her bags and just generally enjoys her loveliness.

She's as smart as paint.

We met her while walking our dogs and the joke was we were just looking after them for her. Unfortunately Barney, eldest dog, always peed on her shoes, she did smell like little old lady juice. We just thought she got home with very squelchy feet.

Anyway today Claire was coming home I spotted her and dragged her in to our local bar because the heavens opened up and there was no way could she get home in the rain.  She had a six pack in her walker, no raincoat.  She doesn't drink on a Monday. 

I noticed a young bloke was wearing his surfboard as a rain hat. I asked if he would let Claire walk in front of him under cover to her apartment.
He did.
It was an hysterical sight.
20 year old  gorgeous bloke, surf board on his head, really, really old lady on a walker in front under his protective cover. The rain was torrential. It took him 15 minutes,  he well deserved a round. Don't you just love the kindness of strangers.

His name is Billy and his mother would be very proud of him. I am.

Felicity is a fibber

Every Wednesday night we try and have family night. All the boys and wonderful girlfriends and friends.
Last Wednesday we had one son, three girlfriends, and one girlfriend's parents.
It was a great night.
Fel and I stayed up and solved the world's problems. There could have been a bit of alcohol involved.
Mark bailed and slept downstairs, Fel and I slept together.
Mark come up in the morning and sat on the end of the bed. I looked over at the other lump in the bed and got a tad confused, thought Mark was multiplying.
He went and made tea, I got up, bent over and farted. Charming really.
Fel said she didn't hear anything. If she didn't hear anything, why did she say something?
She lied.