The Watties and the de T's took all the kids and went to Port Macquarie for the weekend. It was meant to be a great spot to hand feed pelicans. God knows why we thought that was a good idea.
We realised the hotel wasn't quite five star when we got to our suites and saw the room dividers were shower curtains.
It rained all weekend, not a bird in sight. Unless you went to Plaster Fun House, which looked like the inside of a sheltered workshop, and painted your own animal. People were actually doing it, adults as well. Quite scary.
Both families went to a slap up meal at the local Pizza Hut. The ovens broke down, they didn't tell us and we drank our body weight in wine waiting for the food.
After about our fourth litre of cask de crap, we got a bit noisy.
The food finally arrived, Helen was insulted because the waitress pointed to her helper and said "That one is for the old lady with the glasses", not a good move.
When I asked for more wine they said to me "Don't you think you've had enough, dear?"
I don't like being called 'dear' by people who are about 12 years old, let alone being told to ease up on the singing syrup.
So it was on for young and old.
We demanded to see the manager, who ran and hid behind the cash register.
That didn't stop Hels and me, we walked up and shouted at him "Get up, you coward. We know you are there." He wouldn't. It's hard to leave a place with dignity when you've been a total ratbag.
We did provide a lot of entertainment for the locals, our kids weren't very impressed.
Oh, I forgot, Pad coughed all weekend and drove us all bonkers with his whinging.
Took him to the doctor on Monday, he had pneumonia. Oops.
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